Love, According to the Ministry of Magic
by CharlotteGryffindor
Summary: As Life, According to the Ministry comes to a close, we start right back where we left off, at the wedding of Amelie and Teddy Lupin. If you've not read Life, Love and Marriage According to the Ministry yet, it would help! Now that they're married, Am and Ted are going to have to negotiate a whole new set of challenges as they join the new OotP. Soon to be rated M.
1. The Reception

**Before beginning, I'd like to tell everyone (I know this must be annoying by now but I promise there's something new!) that if you go to my profile, you can use one link _(did she say one? She did! Wow! Finally!)_ to see some of the ideas of playbys I have for some characters (of course, casting is all up to the reader so don't feel as if you should think of them as this - they're not quite there for me with Amelie and Teddy, but close enough as these were the ideas of them I had whilst writing in the first place (Amelie was chosen when I decided to restart the story)). Also included are a few dresses which inspired some of the clothing worn by Amelie and Lily through the story.**

 **Without further ado...**

 **Chapter One**

The ceremony passed with what I can only describe as... Well... Okay, I'll admit I didn't pay too much attention to it in all honesty. It is a tad difficult to do so when you're trying to control your breathing and stop looking at your soon to be husband more than is strictly necessary. Ted really didn't seem to take too kindly to that last bit and kept whispering little things under his breath whenever the officiant looked to the crowd or the papers held in their hands, trying to get me to look at him, even with a glare. Those comments coupled with how incredibly handsome he looked standing in his wedding suit beside me, his hand firmly pressed against the small of my back, was the source of my inability to breathe - more so than being watched by a large number of people anyway. I was trying so hard not to laugh from his little jokes or tickling touches, that at one point when the officiant looked at me with a clear question that I'd missed the words of, I had to search my brain for the answer. The only thing I could think they were asking was whether or not I consented to the marriage - a perfectly reasonable suggestion, right?

"I do," came my answer, clearer and stronger than I thought it would be, so it wasn't surprising that Teddy stiffened in shock beside me, or that the officiant's eyes widened slightly before they coughed, eyes darting between us as they no doubt wondered whether the shy and quiet girl they'd met before was the same standing in front of them speaking without reservation.

"I'm sorry..?" The officiant leaned towards me at that point, whilst Teddy's hand slipped around to the side of my waist and tugged me against him. The sound of horrified gasps behind us was my first indication that what I'd said wasn't quite right. The second was when Teddy's lips pressed against my temple and then his hot breath washed over my ear urgently. I wondered why it was urgent, but as my mind registered his words, all became clear.

"...jokes weren't that bad that you'd actually object to marrying me, were they? Or is it something else? My hair too dark? Was it the kiss?" His voice shook slightly as he spoke, but as I turned newly horrified eyes to meet his, I could see that it was from laughter rather than horror. I glanced behind me to see a number of people sitting with their mouths slightly open in shock before I met Lily's stare, filled with the same laughter as her adoptive brother, who raised her hands in a shooing gesture as if to tell me to turn back and fix things.

"Did you..." The officiant cleared their throat again, eyes continuing to dart between us as I turned back, and Teddy's laughter broke forth when I buried my mortified face into his shoulder, hands fisting the back of his jacket as both his arms came around to stroke my back soothingly. "Did you obje-"

"A misunderstanding is all," I heard Teddy's voice come from somewhere above me, addressing the crowd as much as the officiant as he spoke loudly, somehow hiding the mirth from his voice despite the way I could feel his body shaking from it. I marveled at his control, whimpering quietly about my luck before he gripped my waist and pushed me gently away although he remained strong by my side. "Just lost in translation is all." He added this with a wink to me, before turning back to the crowd, and I tried to take that moment to breathe deeply and steady my nerves. "Don't worry, she doesn't have a choice in this, not really!"

That gained a number of nervous laughs from the magical audience and confused murmurings from the muggle portion, more than one comment on the fact that if I was pregnant or something, in this day and age a wedding wasn't required. That made me cringe and Teddy pale a little.

"I'm sorry, I need to hear from Amelie herself." The officiant near glared Teddy to death before looking at me with a much softer expression. "Amelie... I'll ask again... Do you know of any impediment-"

"I- I... I... wasn't listening," I admitted quickly, which caused Teddy's grip on my waist to tighten again as his face pressed against my hair, laughter spilling from his lips as his body shook more violently than before.

"I'm sorry?" The officiant's comment was echoed by those behind me, along with an old witch who shouted at us to speak louder for those without extendable ears if they couldn't use their wands. That one started up the muggles' murmuring again, which subsided suddenly at the same time as Ron Weasley complained about how Hermione Granger-Weasley shouldn't be using magic against unsuspecting muggles, and after my dad started asking about memory charms, the moment was repeated. I heard Mr. Weasley promise to tell my dad all about it later before Mrs. Granger-Weasley announced that we could continue. I chose to ignore the slightly illegal and morally dubious use of memory charms going on behind me and nodded emphatically.

"I t... I th... I thought you were asking if I wanted to m... Marry Ted..." My voice was unsteady this time, embarrassment creeping through my body until I attempted to hide in Teddy's chest again, something which he resisted at first but then allowed when I refused to give up. "Which I do... Ma-Marry him, that is... I-I mean, I do want to... I don't know why I wouldn't." My voice came out muffled, but it seemed to be understood by the officiant, at least enough for us to continue.

I stayed like that for the rest of the ceremony, eliciting a few comments from the muggle attendees afterward which my mum and dad sorted out by explaining in excruciating detail about how apparently Teddy had injured his leg earlier that day and I was holding him up until the end. I have to say that Teddy pretending to limp for an hour after his wedding was pretty hilarious really, but I can't pretend that I'd been able to meet the eyes of anyone who hadn't been obliviated during the nuptials... At least not until after Teddy's speech, which was around the same time his leg seemed to magically recover. We stood to the side of the tent, arms around each other as he spoke.

"If you'd asked me before I'd met Amelie, what the best thing in the world was, I would probably have told you it was laughing until I couldn't breathe anymore with my friends. That, or it would have been singing in the kitchen with my grandmother as she taught me to cook. Perhaps Harry taking me to my first game when I was four (which Ginny won, in case you were wondering). Maybe, just maybe, it would have been when James was two and he stormed up to me with his little fists firmly wedged on his hips as he'd seen Ginny do to Harry before, and told me that I had to come to see him at least twice a day because he missed his big brother... But that was before I met Amelie. Before I knew what pure, unbridled happiness was. It was before I knew that it could physically hurt to look into someone's eyes and know your entire world revolved around them.

Falling in love with Amelie wasn't something I ever planned. Honestly, I don't think anyone apart from Lily would ever have imagined we would have been suited to each other - and that would have been because she wanted Amelie to grow up to marry one of her brothers, and I count to her. Maybe some of the best things in life are the things you don't plan on? The things you never imagined possible. Maybe sometimes you're supposed to experience the impossible just so that you can appreciate the world as it is so that you can experience the brilliance, colour, touch, smell - everything that makes life beautiful and infinite and limitless.

That is what I see, what I feel, what I experience when I am around Amelie. I can't say she's perfect because she's not and neither am I, none of us are, but she is the closest I have ever had the chance to meet. Am is intelligent, mature, kind, funny, calming, strong, insecure despite said strength, shy, passionate, has a tendency to zone out, can pretty much predict the future, and can do anything she sets her mind to. I cannot imagine how anyone could not love her, not fall for her faster than you ever thought possible (although if anyone was to do that I would have to warn you that it could only end in heartbreak. I think if I could ever manage to part from her, you'd have the added obstacle of James here before you had a chance).

I fell in love with Amelie Lupin the first time she cried. I know, that doesn't sound too good really, but it's true. She cried because she didn't want to hurt someone who had hurt her - because she wanted to fight her battles in her own way, and in her own time. I didn't understand it and I still don't, but I stand by her, and in that instant I found my heart break itself into pieces for her and reform both protected and protector. With Amelie, I know what it is to allow myself to rely on someone as much as they rely on me - I know what it is to give and take in equal measure - to risk - to have that risk rewarded with a simple smile - a touch of a hand on mine - a softening of eyes more complex and beautiful than any jewel.

Amelie has my heart. She has my soul. She has my past. My future. My present. It is safe with her. It is impossible. It is a risk. It is filled with hopes, dreams, and visions beyond my comprehension. We are young, that is true, but what is truer is that we will live a long life together, have at least four children, and we will be happier than I ever dreamed of being.

To Amelie Lupin.

To my wife.

To the most incredible person I have ever met in my life.

To love, and most of all...

To happiness."

His speech was lovely and seemed to be so perfectly worded, I honestly had no idea how he could have worked out what to say, I would have been spluttering all over the place and taking deep breaths if it were me. When I told him this he grinned and asked if I wanted him to add bloody infuriating to the list of things he loved about me, because my inability to see myself as he and the rest of the world does makes me rather difficult to understand sometimes. He also joked about asking if I wanted him to have added how hot I found him instead, and that set us both off laughing for a little while before people came to congratulate us again.

* * *

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Teddy's question breaks through my thoughts as he leads me through the steps of our first waltz as a married couple. I can't answer for a moment as his hands slip to my waist and grip, remembering to place my hands on his shoulders just before I'm lifted effortlessly above him and swung in a circle, returned to earth as if he's handling something infinitely precious. I haven't really tried this form of waltz much, but I think I would probably be less secure being lifted into the air by anyone else.

"Aren't I a bit heavy to be lifting like that?" I ask him, instead of responding to his question, worrying my lip between my teeth as I glance up at him, suddenly nervous. His slow grin makes me feel as if a weight has been dropped somewhere in the region of my stomach... Odd, that... Since this morning, it seems to be happening more and more. Not unpleasant, but still quite off-putting.

"You weigh less than a feather," he replies with a chuckle, pulling me closer than strictly permissible in the dance. I scoff in response, trying to form a more coherent reply with his silver grey eyes so close.

"Maybe quite a few feathers... If they were attached to a hippogriff..." His answer is to lift me in the air again with his eyes shimmering, this time refusing to set me down as quickly as before as if he's testing my weight.

"A tiny hatchling hippogriff perhaps, but nothing more than that." There's no strain in his voice as he says this, hands shifting an instant before he throws me higher and I squeak at the feeling of weightlessness before catches me mid-spin, an arm behind my knees, the other wrapped around my waist, holding me securely in his embrace as he continues the steps of the dance without so much as a moment's hesitation. Applause surrounds us, but I can barely hear it as my arms wrap around his neck, laughing up at him. Of course, even being carried in his arms, I'm stuck looking up at him. The wonder over when I'll ever get to look him straight in the eye or down at him as I do with most people crosses my mind before that weight hits my stomach again and I frown lightly in confusion. "What's wrong?" He asks me, a matching frown on his face, and I shake my head, unwilling to try to explain what the matter is when I'm not sure myself. I focus on clearing my face before grinning up at him and tightening my arms around him as I reply.

"Nothing, just a big spin," I tell him. He seems to accept this, and apologises quickly, slowing his steps and turns.

"I'll be more careful, angel." The way he says angel is the same as when he calls me Am, as if it's a name he's decided only he can call me, and I hide in the crook of his neck for a moment, dropping a kiss against his skin before pulling back with a stern expression on my face. Well, as stern as I can manage when being danced about in his arms.

"I'm no angel," I force out in the darkest whisper I can manage, which curiously causes his face to go blank for a second, hands tightening on me before he drops his head back and laughs. "Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm not!" He replies in a mock haughty tone as he looks at me again, but his grin negates everything. "I'm simply... Appreciating... Yes, appreciating the fact that you seem to think you're being threatening right now."

"I am threatening!" I glare at him again, knowing full well that Lily thinks the expression looks adorable on me - she's likened it to an angry puppy before. "You should be scared, I'm very _very_ threatening right now. And besides, I'm not an angel."

"I'm sorry, of course, I'm very scared right now," Teddy speaks through his chuckles and then looks oddly serious before continuing. "And in that dress, with your hair like that, you look like the most beautiful angel to exist, like heaven decided to drop you right here- I'm sorry, I can't!" His laughter breaks through again, and I have to clutch even tighter to hold myself in case he drops me. I'm being serious, the way he's almost doubling over as his progress across the dance floor stutters to a stop is dangerous to me considering he's the only thing between me and falling unceremoniously to the floor. "No, th-th-that's ridi-culous, bu-t you do look beaut-iful, Am."

"Thank you," I reply dryly, "the way you were laughing whilst saying that definitely makes me feel like you mean it." I have a mere moment at the end of my sentence as I register his face closing the distance between us, and then his lips are pressing against mine as whoops explode around us.

* * *

"Say it again," Teddy whispers in my ear as he wraps me in his arms, making me feel overly warm despite my shiver which has nothing to do with the chill of the winter air as we stand far from the magically heated reception area, hidden by a tree from the guests. The moon shines through the trees, casting an almost ethereal glow around his dark form, which is making me think of a fallen angel with his glittering silver gaze focused on mine as he pulls back to look at me, a lock of dark hair falling across his brow practically begging me to give in to the urge to push it back. His silky hair slips through my fingers as I do.

"S-say what?" I ask quietly, smiling gently up at him, trying to avoid his eyes and failing miserably. He brought us here only minutes ago, slipping an arm around me as if he could feel my panic begin to rise with the seemingly endless parade of guests offering us well wishes, asking where we'll be honeymooning, asking so many questions I found it hard to keep up. I know exactly what he wants me to say, but I enjoy the look of mild exasperation in his eyes before he realises I'm joking and rolls his eyes, pulling me closer.

"You know what."

"What? That I love you-?" For someone who wanted me to tell him I loved him for the first time since we'd admitted it earlier, you'd think he would be less inclined to cut me off with a searing kiss, but- Ooh, one second, I'll be back...

* * *

"Amelie! Teddy!" Standing at the side of the dancefloor, Teddy's arms wrapped around me from behind, his forehead dropped to my shoulder as he complains heartily over being left at the sidelines of his own wedding, I'm more than content to ignore the calls until the familiar voice comes closer... Which it does, and quite quickly, attached to an excited Elladora, towing Tom behind her, who greets me with a grin and pokes the top of Teddy's head rather insistently, eliciting a grumbling response I feel as well as hear, the reverberations from his chest traveling through me.

"Hello," I speak quietly, embarrassedly. I know we'd only disappeared from our wedding for a mere ten minutes, but the slightly glaring look Elladora sends Teddy as his head lifts reminds me of her comments a month before as if reminding Teddy that I'm much younger than he is.

"What's up?" Teddy asks, and I can practically hear the raised eyebrow in the challenging tone he uses before his voice softens with a sigh. "Enjoying the reception?"

"We are, as it happens! Nice to see you married at last!" Tom replies cheerily, sharing a look with his best friend that I can't interpret before his grin turns devilish and Elladora rolls her eyes at me. "Ready for the best man's speech? Don't worry Amelie, I won't say anything _too_ bad about your husband." He adds, and I glance up at my hus- _Oh Merlin, that's the first time I've... He's my husb-... Oh Gryffindor's sword, I'm married... I'm married. I'm mar-_

"Are you okay?" Elladora looks concerned but my eyes drop to the floor as I begin to zone out, Teddy's arms tightening around me before they slip away and I take the opportunity to escape quickly, darting away towards the table holding the champagne. I vaguely register Teddy admonishing Tom, explaining that it might not have hit me yet that I was married, but I'm grabbing a glass before my mind catches up to me and I straighten my spine, grabbing four instead of one and heading quickly back to the group watching me with mild concern.

"Sorry," I say quietly, passing the champagne out as if its an offering of apology, which they all take happily, Teddy's arm slipping back around my waist, his hand moving in soothing circles against the fabric of my dress as I raise my glass. "To sudden realisations," I tell them the instant before the glass touches my lips and bubbling liquid slips down my throat. The glass is empty when I remove it, and I look around to see they all took the same route, Elladora blushing at Tom who looks as if he's steeling himself for something. Teddy kisses my temple as his best friend nods to us with a cheeky expression on his face and walks backwards, his glass refilling before he winks at me and hops up onto the small stage housing the band and a microphone. I didn't know there was going to be one, but apparently Teddy really pulled out all the stops for this one. The music comes to a sudden halt and I turn my face, leaning up so that I can kiss Teddy who allows a mere brush of our lips before resting his forehead against mine, worry in his eyes.

"I'm okay," I manage to whisper and he squeezes my side as the look leaves his eyes and he smiles a little. I know he knows I'm nervous now, but I think I'll be okay, or at least manage to stave off the panic of the situation for a little while longer. As he told me before, I need only give the signal and we can sneak off again, this time not to kiss so much as to calm my nerves before returning. I don't want to tell him that I wouldn't mind the kissing so much when he's being so careful to look after me... At least, I figure it won't do to push him if he doesn't want to. I know that's a silly thing to worry about, but I am more and more today - or at least that I'd be a nuisance on what should be the happiest day of his life so far.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Tom calls out happily, tapping the microphone in front of him as if he's not a pureblood and has regularly used the muggle technology. "Ah, it works! Success! Teddy hoped it wouldn't, but then he's in for a bad ride here, isn't he? Now does everyone have a glass?" Tom asks to a chorus of cheers. My empty glass is replaced by a full one, my hand slipping into Teddy's as my new husband begins to look rather sheepish about what his best friend might have to say about him.

"Here we go..." Elladora turns to look at me and winks in much the same way as her husband had, and I pretty much _hear_ Teddy's gulp beside me. I'm looking up at him and he's refusing to meet my eye, so whatever Tom has to say is going to be incredibly interesting...

"Teddy... Teddy... Teddy... Edward, for you older folk." Tom shakes his head and is speaking in a grave tone which is setting off little peals of laughter from Teddy's friends, interspersed as they are throughout the crowd. "What can I say about Teddy that will embarrass him as much as I want to?" Teddy burrows his face into my neck at this, and I have to quickly cover a patch of his hair which is rapidly turning red before any muggles see and lose yet another part of our wedding day. He seems to get it under control, turning it black again quite quickly as I feel the twitch of his nose and shift a little at the ticklish movement. I'm choosing to ignore the smile I feel against my shoulder in case it leads to him snuffling me again whilst everyone's looking at Tom.

* * *

I'm trying hard not to yawn at this point, what with it only being about one in the morning and the reception being in full swing. Tom's speech had everyone in stitches, but I unfortunately seemed to miss the majority of what was said due to Teddy's nose changing form every time I tried to concentrate. I'm sure he was using my policing of his metamorphagus powers to keep my attention off his best man, but I'll hopefully find out later if Lily was filming it as well as she just assured me she was. Oh no, the yawn is coming... _Bite your lip Amelie!_

"Tired?" I look up and shake my head despite having to give in to my traitorous body and place a hand over my mouth, showing myself and Harry, who asked, that my refusal was a flat out lie. He laughs at this, and then falls into a smile. "I think Teddy was looking for the coffee a few minutes ago, so if you're both on your way out I wouldn't worry. You've been up all day, or at least he has."

"Has he?" I ask, knowing he's been up for at least as long as I have, but not being sure whether he was as exhausted the night before. Harry nods and a grin I haven't seen before passes his lips as if he's about to give up a secret he knows he shouldn't.

"Teddy spent the entire night pacing around the house wondering to anyone who would listen about whether or not you'd jilt him, or what would happen if he messed things up. Now I know that's quite a James thing to do but I can't say I pegged Teddy for quite so much of a worrier. He tends to keep that sort of thing to himself." Harry seems to be looking at me questioningly now which is making me feel as if I should be shifting from foot to foot like a child with their hand caught in the biscuit jar, but I'm forcing myself to stay still, even though my cheeks are blazing and I'm probably blushing brighter red than Sirius. The star, not the person, if you were wondering.

"D... Erm... Do you... Do you know why?" I ask him, my voice barely lower than a squeak to begin with which makes my blush worse and causes me to clear my throat as I continue. "I mean... Do you know why he would have been so nervous?" There. Got it. Harry's grin widens as he places a hand on my arm, and I feel as if I'm about to be given the secret to the meaning of life or something. I'm not lying to you when I tell you that Harry Potter is scary, reassuring, calming, and nerve tangling all that the same time - the man saw more danger and lived through more by the time he was my age than most people would see in three or four lifetimes. I know he's my best friend's dad, but I don't know many people who don't get quite nervous around him, and I don't want to toot my own horn here, but I like to think he likes me so I'm more scared of letting him down than ever.

"I think it has something to do with the fact that for all I've tried to be good to Teddy, James, and Albus, they're unfortunately too like me. And Teddy is so like his father it's hard for us sometimes not to tell him. I just want you to remember that he's Remus Lupin _and_ Nymphadora Tonks' son, and if he's ever overly-worried a lot, annoying, or so infuriating you want to shout at him and chuck him out your house-" Odd one that, it seems to me as if he's saying that from experience. Does he mean that he's done that to Teddy or his father? "-he's also happy, clumsy, messy, silly, kind, nurturing, and has the patience of a saint." Harry's eyes are twinkling from behind his glasses, almost as if he's on the verge of tears, but he can't be, he's Harr-

"What's going on?" Teddy interjects, coming up beside me. I look to him with a smile, and when I glance back at Harry, he's looking off towards his wife. A second later he returns his gaze to us both and all suggestion of a tear in his eye is gone. "Not warning my fair bride off me already, are you Harry?"

"No," Harry replies with a laugh and a subtle wink to me _really, what is it with all the winking today?_ "Just informing her that if she ever wants to throw you out the house one day, we'll put you up for a bit." This earns me a bear hug from Ted, who growls jokingly at Harry and informs him that I like him far too much for that.

"Oh I don't know," I surprise us all by speaking in such a serious way, "you _do_ play for the wrong team after all. Can't be sure of my actions if you dared to beat Puddlemere again." Teddy's mouth drops open in shock for a few seconds as his eyes dart between Harry and me, and then the three of us descend into fits of laughter not unlike the times I spent with Lily before all of this happened.

"Right. I saw that yawn earlier, but I didn't think you were so tired you'd lost your senses, Am!" Teddy says in a mock serious tone once we manage to control ourselves, and at the mere mention of a yawn, I have to cover my mouth again from another one. It's all his fault, he's too warm and snuggly for his own good.

"Shall I round up the other parents then, so you two can say goodbye? Or do you think-" _Yawn._ "And I think that answers my question as to whether you two could hold on much longer. Synchronized yawns already! I'm impressed!"


	2. The Mini Honeymoon

**Thank you to my lovely reviewers and all you wonderful people who are continuing to follow this story on the next leg! There's a poll on my profile if you're interested, to decide whether I should start to make this a little less T going forward... I'd welcome any comments about it too because I don't want to alienate the base of followers if that happens.**

 **Just a bit of fluff to get you all by here - the next chapter will take place at least a few days after their honeymoon, but I thought you might like a little look-see.**

 **Chapter Two**

We're so tired after the wedding reception that I couldn't quite process Ted and Harry telling me where we were going for our mini honeymoon. We had to navigate the whole magical transportation thing carefully, what with the muggles who stayed at the reception until we left, so by the time Harry drove us to the portkey which would take us off, it was nearly three. It took longer to say goodbye to people than we hoped it would, so although the horrible _horrible_ _ **horrible**_ wrenching feeling woke us both up a bit, we were exhausted. Luckily, Ted kept a hand on me when we traveled this time and so I didn't injure myself again, so the walk to the house wasn't too bad after that.

When we get in, Ted leads me straight through to the bedroom, which is a little nerve-wracking considering it will be the first time we've shared a bed or a room in general, unless you count sleeping on the sofa that time, and as a married couple now to boot. He seems not to notice, or thinks its easier not to comment, on the fact that my hand is shaking a little in his before he opens the door and waves me through. I can't say I can really notice what anything looks like just now, considering I'm squinting and grumbling as he just turned on the light without any warning, but our trunk has now begun to unpack itself as I stumble sleepily over to the bed. The sleepy thing is probably why I'm not looking away as Ted strips off his jacket, tie, and shirt, and then magically changes his clothes into a tight black t-shirt and matching pyjama bottoms all whilst turned away from me.

Yes. That is true.

I am not being odd or creepy.

No lie there at all.

Anyway...

He runs a hand through his hair as he grabs me some pyjamas from the now sorted clothing, and looks as if he's going to throw them to me before obviously thinking better of it and walking over with them. _His hair is very disheveled. Not a creepy observation. Just an observation... So tired..._ I'm struggling to get a hold of the hook and eye at the top of my dress robes, so coupled with my half watching, can't have looked too eager to test my hand-eye coordination when one arm was pressed up against my back, and the other crooked over my head to try and reach behind me.

It takes a full minute of him watching my struggles as I make quiet half-hearted complaints about having chosen a dress I can't use on my own before he clenches his jaw, sighs, and raises his hands. As he lowers them quickly like a muggle magician would, a sheet appears out of nowhere before he gently pulls my arms around to hold it in front of me as his head ducks round to check the fastening, hands settling on my neck as he looks resolutely towards the windows, as if attempting to turn his face as far away from me as possible. This earns him a sleepy giggle as I accidentally sway a little in his direction, and he gives me an exasperated look before turning away again quickly, which is why I'm trying to press my lips into a flat line to stop myself from laughing again.

The top of my dress tugs tighter against my neck and then releases as Ted spins around and begins to retreat rather hastily to the other side of the room, where it looks like he's grabbing a toothbrush. Odd, he does know there are spells for that, doesn't he? Maybe not, maybe I should mention it to him? Should I do it before I ask for his help with the other fastenings on the back of my dress which I can't reach, or after?

After.

"Cou-Could erm... Could you help me with the others?" I ask, still trying not to laugh a little and having to work even harder after he shoots me a mildly terrified look over his shoulder. "The other clasps," I add, dropping one hand from the sheet I'm still holding to motion, which oddly leads him to run across the room and hold the fabric up himself even though he's looking away still and my dress isn't really sitting any differently to before.

"There are _others?"_ Ted asks in a tone to match his face, and I nod. Gryffindor, it's hard not to laugh right now. "Can't you use magic for it?" That would be a good idea, if not for what I'm about to have to tell him.

"I forgot it." His eyes widen comically and he swallows, not able to look me in the eye. "It's a speci-speci-" What's the word I'm looking for? "Specifical - no, not specifical... Erm..."

"Specific."

"Yes, thank you!" I reply happily to his quiet response, frowning a little as I find my words again. Speaking whilst you're this tired is horrible. "Yes, specific... What was I saying? Ah yes, so the thingy which the lady..." Very hard when you're so sleepy. I rub my eye with my free hand, checking it afterwards when I remember I'm wearing makeup but it's probably stuck on or something, what with... Wands and... Magic, and stuff... Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm still looking at my hand as I realise there's silence and oh, I'm meant to be speaking about something. I look up at Ted to ask him what I was saying without those pesky word things, and his face now looks paler than before.

"The dress needs a specific spell to undo it unless it's done by hand?" He asks, and I smile as my eyes droop and I nod, leaning towards him, but he steps back when I do. "And... You've... Forgotten the spell..."

"Yes, why did you," I have to cover my mouth as I yawn, but it doesn't quite happen and he waits patiently for the yawn to materialise before I continue. "Why did you ask if you knew?" I blink slowly up at him and rub my eye again. I think I was nervous for some reason a few minutes ago, but I honestly can't remember right now why I was. "Can you help me with it?"

Ted looks as if he's going to say no for a second, before he puts his hands on my waist and turns me quickly, which makes me sway into him but backwards this time, managing to rest my head on his shoulder and look up at his face which is yet again turned away as I feel his hands press and pull clasps down my spine. He now looks a little sick, is he okay?

"I'm fine." Is his response, and I guess I asked that one out loud o- "You're still speaking aloud right now, Am," Ted's lips are curved a little at the corners, as if he's trying not to smile, and his hands pause just below my shoulders as he looks down at me with twinkling eyes. Have I mentioned how much the silver in his eyes seems to melt and twinkle and shift as if it's molten silver? If I haven't, it really does. It adds to his handsomeness, I think. He's still not continued to undo the rest of my dress, and I wonder if he knows I'm wearing a full shift underneath it, or- Oh, he's speaking.

"Yes, Ted?" I ask, sighing a little as I begin to feel as if I could fall asleep right here.

"Is this how you think?"

"Is," _yawn_ "this how I... What...?" I reply, snuggling into his shoulder and trying to twist so I can get more comfortable.

"Do you think as if you're talking to an audience?" His voice sounds halfway between affectionate and happy, so it takes me a moment to realise what he's said, before I wake up quickly and pull away from him, spinning on my heel to grab my pyjamas, clutching them to my chest and then sink into myself a little as I feel a horrible blush rise up face.

"You heard that?" I whisper, my eyes filling with tears, now being the one unable to make eye contact. Surprisingly, I notice arms in my blurred vision before they wrap around me and Ted's cheek presses against the top of my head.

"Yeah, I guess being so tired some of it slipped out." He sounds almost as if he's lying, but I know I've only spoken my thoughts aloud a couple of times. Oh Hufflepuff, what if it was more than twice? "But before you begin to feel worried or insecure about it, I would remind you that you're now married to someone who _loves_ hearing the way you really see the world." _Liar._ "I'm not lying if that's what you might think. It might come with the territory of being completely besotted, but I felt like that when we first met, so it must just be an interest I've happily discovered, eh?"

"You did?" I ask in a dubious tone, and his face moves against mine, pressing and nuzzling until I look up at him to see him smiling down at me.

"Of course I did. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but you're an enigma, Mrs. Lupin."

"Did we agree I was going to change my name?" I ask, my blush remaining but feeling myself respond to his smile in kind despite wanting to remain serious. "I seem to remember talk of Mr. Edward Edward-"

"You don't have to change your name if you don't want to, Am, but _please_ don't tell anyone else about the Edwards thing?"

* * *

"Mhrmm. No." I faintly register the sound coming from Ted's side of the bed before a slapping sound and the end of the tuneless wail I can only imagine is his alarm. When I say side, I don't mean like a normal side of a bed, I mean more like his side of the giant ocean. When I realised I could get out of my dress, he retreated to the bathroom to brush his teeth, apparently to give me some space to get changed even though he could have done as I did and sort the matter with his wand. I choose to ignore the fact that he had to sift through my dress robes to find the thing because I was sitting on the bed groping in the direction of the robes rather than gathering the energy to get it myself. He really is a good one.

Ted's side of the bed dips as he settles again, but I can only see it from this point, what with the way he extended the bed as wide as possible.

"Wha-" My voice is thick as I try to speak and I have to clear my throat before I can get the words out. "What time is it?" I still sound groggy, but at least I'm understandable.

"Not a time conducive to life." Ted's voice is as thick from sleep as mine, so I take his response to heart and roll over, snuggling into the pillows again and closing my eyes.

"M'okay," I say before drifting off.

* * *

"Am?" A hand gently shaking my forearm wakes me up, and I turn, opening my eyes a little, to see Ted's arm stretched across the bed above the duvet, the rest of him buried in pillows or covers.

"Yeah?" I reply, rubbing my eye as his hand slides into mine.

"Do you want breakfast?" He asks sleepily, and I shake my head, eyes closed again. I guess he understood me despite probably not being able to see me, because his hand squeezes mine before it relaxes and-

* * *

It's much darker the next time I open my eyes, but I must have moved at some point because there's an oddly heavy object across my waist and the covers are much hotter against my back than they had been before. I close my eyes, even though I can't work out what I could have brought to bed with me because it doesn't feel like a book - it's too big and heavy to be any of the ones I brought with me at least, and none of them were hot last time I checked. I roll over, pressing against my oddly lumpy pillow which shifts so that it's now below me before I snuggle into it, the covers wrapping themselves around me tightly, the pillow rumbling slight-

Why is my pillow rumbling? I open my eyes again to see the black fabric moving slowly as if it's breathing. That's very odd. If it wasn't for the rumbling, I might think it's just my breathing moving me and I'm just being silly, but the rumbling is still there - more of a felt rumbling than one I can hear.

I press a hand experimentally against the lumpy pillow against my waist, and the rumbling stops abruptly, as does the movement before the covers move again as they gather me up and pull me up the pillow a little so that it's soft lips can press against my fore-

That's not right...

I open my eyes, blinking slowly as they adjust to the light and press my hand against the same place as before, feeling a different rumble this time which sounds suspiciously like a hungry stomach. The lips press against my temple and cheek, so I turn my face to kiss Ted a moment before my mind catches up with me and I put two and two together.

"'Morning," Ted's voice wafts past my ear as he sighs happily.

"Gummornin," I reply, happy and relaxed, although something nagging in the back of my mind tells me I shouldn't be so comfortable at the moment. I shift experimentally and all becomes clear as my stomach protests the move, and I realise the rumbling stomach is possibly my own. He smiles against my cheek and whispers something about breakfast which makes my stomach rumble again, echoed by his own, so I find myself glaring up at him and enduring his whispered comments which appear to be something along the lines of James and pygmy puff.

One of his arms leaves me, and I pull my hands up to further cushion my cheek against his shoulder as he shifts a bit. He must be looking for the phone he canceled the alarm of earlier.

"Fuck," Ted whispers, the bright light of the phone assaulting my poor eyes as his arm returns. The way I hide in his chest earns me a quick kiss on the top of the head and a one-armed squeeze all whilst he whispers to himself. Looking up, I see he's squinting at the phone as if trying to adjust his sight himself, and scrolling or, no, typing. The arm around me starts to stroke my back and loose hair, getting a little waylaid as it twirls some strands absentmindedly.

"What is it?" I ask quietly, which makes Ted look down at me and take another detour to kiss me gently before pulling back and resting on the actual pillows.

"It's five," he responds with another sigh, continuing to type out replies as he speaks quietly in the still room. "We've lost an entire day, and I've missed about five phone calls from different Potters. Check your phone, you've probably got the same, if not worse."

I push myself up enough to look down at him, and he lowers the phone to look at me.

"Does that mean we spent the whole day in bed?" I ask, biting my lip gently. "I'm sorry, I should've set an alarm. We only have three days and we lost one entirely."

Ted grins and shakes his head, waving his phone at me.

"Don't go apologising yet. I had ten alarms set, I just slept through them all. And if anyone asks what we did today, you could say we went for a hike or something." I frown at him in confusion, and he looks across the long expanse of bed between where I began the night and then to the much smaller space on his other side. "Or at least you could, I was just an innocent bystander."

The narrowing of my eyes is the only warning I give him before I grab one of the pillows under his head and start to hit my new husband across the chest and face with it.


	3. Important Question

**Okay, people!**

I'm in the process of writing the next chapter of this story, and I kind of need to know whether we're going M or staying T for it. At the moment, it won't affect the next chapter so that's fine, but going forward, whether it becomes M or not is going to affect the storyline as I forsee it. Of course, they won't go too far too soon, but there will be hilarity involved when the actual possibility comes up, which will mostly involve crossed wires (and of course, this is Teddy we're talking about, so it's not going to be him who even hints at the movement on, so it's also kind of a question as to whether we go with Teddy's not thinking of it, or Amelie's definitely thinking of it...). Of course, there's basically the question also about whether Amelie continues to stop the press as soon as they're properly kissing or not.

I'm entirely putting this out for you all to decide if you want this to happen or not because ultimately, I'm 100% fine with never writing anything like that between them because it's a pretty personal choice over whether it's wanted or not, but I will if it's wanted by the readers! I'm also open to writing those parts into a separate collection if people want that instead.

We're currently standing at 7:1 in favour of the story becoming M, but I don't want to alienate people as there are more people reading this than have voted.

I'm a bit of a stress-filled author when it comes to pleasing you guys, as you may have noticed from this because I don't want to get it wrong so it's entirely your decision!


	4. The Return

**I know I said the next chapter would be set after their honeymoon, but this is me and by now, even I have given up on listening to myself after I post a chapter because really... I'm in love with Teddy and Amelie together and I'm sorry, but you're going to have to put up with random extra chapters like this because the fluff is real!**

 **Sorry that this is only about 4000 words long, but the next chapter will hopefully be coming asap, as I'm getting back into writing them now!**

 **Lots of responses to the M/T question, and it's been decided that M is the way to go. Like I said before, this chapter won't be affected by the M rating, but subsequent ones might! Thank you to everyone who took the time to vote and to leave lovely messages too - I love you all, and you don't know how much joy and happiness you've brought me on this, the type of week which had me crying at my desk at work!**

 **I wish I could reply to all of your messages on here, but I know you all want to get to reading, so I'll just say thank you to fandomtainment (I hope your interview went well!), shawnta. horton (sorry, I had to add in the space because it deleted your username the first time), DB88, Gryffindork1307, Mystery Angle, xxx-Miss-Bella-Swan-xxx, Alcachofu, kankananime123, codebreakerofcodes, FairiesandDemons, CaptainCumberbatch, alexxxela and everyone else who's reading this story!**

 **I hope you enjoy this, and there aren't too many errors!**

 **Chapter Three**

On the last day of our mini-moon, as Teddy decided it should be called, we woke up earlier than we had before. Somehow, I ended up falling asleep halfway through our moonlit picnic the night before. And by somehow, I mean... When your new husband (that's still very odd to say) is as adept with warming and comfort charms as mine is, it's pretty easily done... Especially if he was, and I'm not bragging about this (oh wait, I am) absentmindedly singing old-school Weird Sisters songs in an unfairly soothing tone.

Anyway, I swear to Merlin that I closed my eyes for two seconds on that blanket we'd set up in the otherwise freezing cold garden of the cottage we're staying at, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up snuggled into the warmest, albeit hardest, mattress I've ever slept on. By that, of course, I mean I've woken up sprawled across poor Teddy again, with the palm of my hand smushed against his chin in what I can only imagine was my unconscious self trying to stroke his cheek or something. I think after two days of this, he might actually already be used to waking up in highly uncomfortable positions, considering how well he slept through his nose being pushed out of joint yesterday, but I for one haven't.

 _Hmm... I wonder if that's because of his ability to change his appearance at will, so perhaps if I actually do end up injuring him he'll be fine?_

Anyway. I try to extract myself as carefully as possible, thinking about the fact that I've never realised I slept in such ridiculous positions before, when the slow rumble which seems to emit from Ted's chest as he sleeps cuts out suddenly, and he frowns, opening his eyes and squinting at my hand as I stop moving.

"Are you trying to strangle me already?" He asks, voice still thick with sleep, as both our eyes focus on my offending appendage and the way that it's currently resting against his neck. I guess I wasn't as careful as I thought? Maybe I should have focused on moving more quickly and less on his morning stubble?

I give him a sheepish smile as he raises an eyebrow and reaches up to remove my hand from his throat, and I struggle to retain my composure when he kisses my palm and then sighs, pulling me back against him and resting my hand over the beating pulse of his heart instead.

"You could at least wait until after the mini-moon, you know?" He winks at me sleepily and leans down to try to kiss my lips, but I'm too conscious of the fact that he woke up to me half strangling him, and duck my head down, which causes his chest to rise and fall rapidly with laughter. "I don't think anyone would blame you, of course, I've been told I'm a terror to share a bed with, what with the snoring and all. Positively wolflike, I hear-"

He cuts off as I give him a sharp look as something hot and stabbing invades the vicinity of my heart. I'm speaking before I can hold myself back.

"Who said that?" Okay, that came out in a much more confrontational way than I thought it would, but it's too late to do anything more than run with it, so I stay silent as he leans his head up and studies me for a few moments in silence. It's beginning to make me feel uncomfortable by the time he starts to press his lips together in an odd way, almost as if he's holding back another laugh, but then he finally opens his mouth to speak, holding my firm as I go to move away from him.

"Am..." He presses his lips together again as I work to avoid his stare. "..." I'm not just saying that for the heck of it, it actually does sound like he made the stalling noise of three dots in a row... Or at least what I imagine it would sound like when I read books. This is getting awkward enough now, that I find myself glaring more to cover my embarrassment as I manage to push away from him finally, or rather, he lets me go, and decide to change the subject as soon as I look down and notice that I'm now in my pyjamas.

"Did you change m-"

"James and Alb-"

"What?" We ask in unison, having spoken over each other a moment before. Teddy's hair begins to turn red at the roots whilst my cheeks begin to feel the heat of blushing whilst we wait to see who will clarify first. Not going to be me this time, i-

"When I was younger and went to visit the Potters, I'd switch between sharing a room with James and Albus. They decided I should get my own room if I ever came to live with them, which they really wanted me to despite the snoring I should add, but-" as he's speaking, Ted's arms are sneaking around me, his tone gentle as if trying to distract me from this fact. It is very distracting, to be honest. I mean... It's just so much deeper and rumbly in the morning and his voice is deep and rumbly to begin with. Ah, I'm just going to go with it, but resist just enough to save face. "-so after that summer, we all realised they could never share a bedroom with each other at the risk of only one of them surviving, and that was that."

Damn, I wish I'd heard the rest of that story. With a firm tug, I'm launched off balance and find myself staring at his black t-shirt.

"Did you change my clothes?" I ask, the words coming out muffled as my mouth is pressed against his chest. Again, I don't think I have many complaints about this, especially after my weird heart stabby feeling thing. Teddy's response is a faint strangled sound before he starts rambling in a vaguely horrified tone about how transfiguration spells are his specialty and he wrapped me up in the covers so he didn't see anything.

It's my turn to bite back a smile as he continues his long-winded and adorably awkward explanation whilst I settle myself within his hold for comfort purposes. I know it might sound terrible that I'm letting him sweat, but I've only encountered awkward Teddy a few times, and most seem to be since we've been married. I'll put him out of his misery soon, but I think I'll wait for about the same amount of time he let me go on apologising for walking in on him topless without realising he would be yesterday.

Of course, I probably could have apologised much more quickly if he hadn't been so confused about why I'd been doing so in the first place that he'd taken far too long to put on a shirt. Not that I was still staring, of course...

* * *

"... I still just think it was a bit mean of you to let me go on and on for ten minutes, but that's all I'll say on the matter." I steal a glance in Teddy's direction as his hand slips to the small of my back, but only manage to get in a little-disgruntled glare before he pulls me to him. I settle my hands on his upper chest and push just enough to get him to loosen his grip, which he does, but he might have only allowed it because that movement also gives him time to adjust his backpack which is slung over one shoulder.

"And _I_ just think," I begin, feeling my lips tilting to one side as a grin forms, something echoed in his eyes as he continues to give me an otherwise gravely serious look. "That if you had been a little nicer to me about the whole topless situation, then I would have been nicer to you about the whole clothes removal. Of course, I can't help it if yo-" I cut off with a squeal as I'm simultaneously lifted from the ground and tickled, laughing and trying to fight my way free. I don't know about you, but I don't think it's really quite fair that when you're tickled, your arms and legs become so weak that you can't put up a good defence.

Ahh! Foc-us-on-def-en-ce!-

I'm still giggling intermittently and trying to get loose when Teddy begins to stalk over to the portkey. I suppose I should complain about the fact that he's doing so with me slung over his shoulder, but I'm beginning to find that there are quite a few things I probably should mind about the situation but don't, although perhaps that's because as it's the second time he's done it in the past few days, I'm becoming used to it now? It sort of reminds me of that scene in the Mummy, when Brendan Fraser throws Rachel Weisz over his shoulder... Or the Mummy 2 when he does it again... Either way, it's sort of fun and also-

"Am I really-tha-" Breathing is key to the remaining calm and not a giggling mess. Teddy's laughter tells me that he caught my attempt to speak, and his ducking down to lower me back to the ground tells me that he also accepts that I can be put down now without collapsing in a tickled heap. I'm not just saying that because he just decided that was something he should begin to judge... It's kind of embarrassing, but that did actually happen last time he tickled me, so he's actually being quite considerate to think of it.

When I deem my legs strong enough to hold me, I give him a brusque nod and then grin up at him as he ducks down to plant a kiss on my lips that becomes slightly too passionate for the countryside, but slightly too short for me to complain about.

"You were asking something, I believe?" Ted asks, looking around us to see whether there's an innocuous-looking trainer still lying around to take us back to our regular lives. This gives me a second or two to remember what I was asking and where we are and you know, those general things you're supposed to remember despite being kissed soundly.

"Yes. Right, of course. Am I really that light, is what I was going to ask." I reply, cocking my head to one side and tucking my hair behind my ear as I feel suddenly a little shy in asking. It was a lot easier when I couldn't see his dark hair falling about his face whilst he straightens up, the trainer in hand, with a triumphant grin.

That grin fades into a much more cheeky expression as he looks me up and down, which of course makes me over analyse the way I'm standing. I'm looking down to check that I don't look that bad and I'm not standing in a strange pose when my hair is untucked from behind my ear by a gentle hand, and I'm forced to look up into Ted's silver-grey eyes as he tilts my head up.

"Would you rather I told you that you weighed nothing at all, or that I reminded you of the fact that I play Quidditch for two different teams which requires a lot of strength?"

"Erm... We-Well I don't mind either, but which one's the truth?" I reply awkwardly, suddenly nervous for reasons I can only imagine stem from the look in his eyes, one I can't identify but makes me feel like he's subtly mocking and reassuring me in equal measure.

"The truth," he says, wrapping me up tightly in his arms for the third time today. "Is that you don't weigh very much to me _be-" OH DEAR MERLIN AND GRYFFINDOR ON A STICK! PORTKEY!_

* * *

When I come back down to earth, no pun intended, Teddy's arms are still wrapped around me, and he seems to have realised that holding me up when we travel is always a good idea because that's what he's currently doing. It's a good move, I'd say, as I feel worse than ever seeing as I had no warning that it was going to happen. He does that a lot, now that I think about it... Suprise me with travel, not hold me upright... Although, he's been doing his fair share of that lately too.

"I-I've said it once," I murmur, trying to regain any semblance of composure and failing miserably at it. "And I'll say it a thousand times more-" I have to break off to grimace as my stomach finally seems to realign itself with the rest of my body, but Teddy helpfully picks up where I've left off.

"All magical transportation seems to have been created specifically to be so horrible that no one should ever want to use it?" He asks - a rhetorical question really, made evident by his tone. "I have a couple of theories about why that is, but none of them are going to help right now. I don't know why, but it's like your body just kind of skips over the graceful landing thing and goes straight for asking 'how hard can I crash into the ground this time?'. I almost lost you for a second there, and right after impressing you with my strength." He trails off, almost as if thinking aloud as I straighten up in his arms and he lets me go, hands hovering at my sides in case my legs give out.

"I-oh merlin." To my utter horror, I think maybe taking a portkey whilst incredibly tired and half drunk is actually preferable to doing it sober.

The rush is finally leaving me, albeit slower than usual this time. I nod curtly to Ted, who replies with a salute worthy of a lieutenant. Shaking my head to clear it, I test out my legs by giving a little jump and then nod again before waving off my new husband's assistance and turning towards the path leading through the trees to our back garden.

Was it really only three days ago that we got married here?

Thanks to magic, there's really nothing to let on about the fact that we pretty much littered the place with lupins and wildflowers for the occasion, and if you'd somehow wandered through to the back of the house, I doubt you'd even realise there was a possibility of a wedding having taken place, what with how dense the trees seem to be today. I'm sure they weren't this close before...

We're walking in silence round to the doors at the back of the house which lead into the kitchen, the only thing to cut through the companionable void that Ted is obviously maintaining for my benefit is the sound of keys which jangle as he removes them from his jacket pocket.

I asked him about this yesterday when I came across the collection on the bedside table, and he explained that it gives him a bit of a muggle feeling and something to fidget with if he ever gets nervous and stuffing his hands in his pockets doesn't work. He's going to get me a set cut and was a bit ashamed that he hadn't thought of getting them for me earlier, but I don't really need any considering how the wards are set up around the house and that when I do live here full time, I'll be travelling in and out by floo every day for the first few months.

In reality, considering he's already sorted the wards out, either one of us could open any of the doors just by putting our wand hand to it, but it's a nice gesture anyway, and I like the idea of having muggle style keys to add to the ones from home.

Teddy unlocks the door, jiggling the second lock slightly and pulling the door towards him as he turns the handle and key simultaneously to get it to unlock, and then sighs when it works on the first try, the door swinging inwards. That's another thing he told me, sometimes the door decides it wants to mess with him and doesn't open until it wants to. I would usually put this down to someone not being able to get it on the first try every time, but they _are_ magical locks, so anything is possible.

I step forward, ready to follow him in, when he throws his backpack _with all of our things and presents we got for people, I should mention_ through onto the kitchen floor, and turns to me with his hands on his hips, bright blue haired and cobalt eyed, with a mischevious glint in his eye.

"What?" I ask suspiciously, narrowing my eyes at him slightly. He grins and gestures towards the house.

"Threshold." He tells me simply. "The only question is, are you carrying me over it, or do I have the honour of carrying you? Figured I'd give you the choice and all, it's only fair that we're equal. That being said, one of us _is_ going over it being carried by the other as per tradition, and we _do_ have a New Year's party to attend in-" he sucks in breath through his teeth with a hiss as he pulls out the pocket watch and clicks it open. "Oooh, only four hours. Yeah, Potter New Year parties start surprisingly early," he adds at the look of confusion on my face. "So yeah, lady-or wife, rather. You or me? It's a wolf carry wolf world out here you know, and-"

"Oh Godric! If I don't decide, you're just gonna keep talking, aren't you?" I ask, laughing at the mock seriousness on his face. He nods gravely, the action ruined by the almost boyish grin he's now giving me, and I shake my head at him, rolling my eyes even as I move to place my arms around his neck. "You can carry me over this time, but only because of the fact that you weigh so much and I do want to be able to enjoy the party without taking five of Mr. Potter's pain potions first!"

"That's Mr. _Uncle_ Potter to you!" He tells me, swinging me into his arms and stealing a kiss before forging ahead into one of the two most used rooms in the house. The other is the lounge if you were wondering. Which you weren't... And I wasn't either... At least, I hope it's the lounge? I've just been thinking more since we've been married about how many people Te-

"Surprise!" _AHHHH!_

It's a good job I've got my arms around Ted's neck, which tighten by reflex, because he drops the arm around my back immediately and grabs his wand from the holster on his side, hidden under his jacket, and has it pointed at the assailant quicker than a gun drawn in an old western movie.

"James!?" He asks in a half angry, half shocked to death tone as my heart rate decreases enough that I can register that it is, in fact, James who just jumped out of nowhere and is now standing by the island in the kitchen looking both nervous and triumphant in a way that only a Potter sibling can pull off.

Oh. Now he's dispensed with the nervousness and is doing what appears to be some sort of mildly stereotypical leprechaun jig, pulling something out of his pocket as he does so. Oh, Merlin's beard! No!

Ted sacrifices himself, swinging me behind him as James fires the glitter cannon and sprays Teddy from head to toe with heart-shaped glitter which swirls around him for a few seconds before disappearing, leaving an eery silence in the room and a very stiff-spined husband in front of me. I can only see his back, but as I peek around him to steal a glance at James and see that my brother-in-law- _ish_ is gulping visibly, right eye twitching a little, I'm not sure I want to guess at the expression on his face.

I can't say this is what I expected when we returned home, but I really don't know _why_ I wasn't expecting it at the same time.

I mean, maybe not the whole glitter situation, as I thought James was banned from buying or receiving magical glitter cannons from his uncles' shop after the whole Auror office glitter explosion some six years ago, but maybe the ban was lifted due to good beha-

"WELCOME HOME!" Clearly not reading the room, Lily!

I duck this time, clearly not meant to be a Gryffindor, and cover my head with my arms as my best friend turned sister-in-law- _ish_ attacks from the side this time, jumping onto one of the dining table chairs and shooting glitter so that it cascades around us both this time. I just about get a glance in to see her look, which is more that of a child with their hand caught in the pygmy puff cage at WWW, when Ted's scarily calm voice emanates from above me.

"Lily. As you are the younger of the two, I will give you the benefit of enough time to run. James. You have been warned, and have age and experience that your sister does not have. Therefore, you know what is about to happen." Well. I guess by the speed at which Ted's running after James, he wasn't giving it his all when he chased after me the day we got engaged. Huh.

I stand up hesitantly, still half shielding myself for further attack, and hear the clatter of the chair moving across the floor followed by footsteps approaching me.

Arms wrap around my middle, and I move my own around my shorter best friend, vaguely registering that we're both still watching the door to the hallway and listening for any signs that Ted may be heading off to Azkaban for having murdered the eldest son of Harry 'The Chosen One' and Ginny 'The Fearless' Potter.

"You'll protect me, won't you?" Lily asks me quietly, both of us wincing as we hear a loud crash, followed by a yelp. Not sure who that came from, but I'm not putting galleons on it being Teddy.

"Just give him the old Weasley glare and he'll back away," I reply, my voice sounding hollow and not quite sure of myself.

"I'm not sure that's going to help me this time," she tells me solemnly, and finally I look down to meet her eyes, both of us biting our lips together before bursting out into peals of laughter as I vaguely register James running back across the hallway towards the stairs.


End file.
